Review: The Secret Life of Prince Charming by Deb Caletti

The Secret Life of Prince Charming by Deb Caletti

Released: April 7, 2009

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Pages: 322

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by: Carey

Maybe it was wrong, or maybe impossible, but I wanted the truth to be one thing. One solid thing.

Quinn is surrounded by women who have had their hearts broken. Between her mother, her aunt, and her grandmother, Quinn hears nothing but cautionary tales.... Read the rest of the synopsis on Goodreads.

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NOTE: This review will have spoilers. I apolgize if you haven't read the book. Also, the review will be quite long and goes in order of the book, as I wrote it while I was reading it.

It took me way too long to read the seven page first chapter, because it was honestly way too descriptive. It was honestly ridiculous with how descriptive it was. Especially for the first page. 

 BUT it did throw something interesting in the end of the first chapter: that Quinn, the main character, steals from her father's house, even though she knows it's not a good thing.

Speaking of good things, Quinn knows good things. She knows that she should like math, that she should invite the outcast to her birthday parties to be nice, that you should drive carefully and always like your family. It meant taking careful steps. She also knows that "good choices" are pretty much just other people's choices. Which makes it interesting that she steals things from her father. If she's so good and careful about everything, why do that?

Once again, it seems as though Caletti is way too descriptive and likes run on sentences. I don't need to know each and every toy Quinn's little sister, Sprout, stuffs in her hat for the train ride, and a description of what she does on said ride. It made me dislike her writing style only eight pages into the book. It was just so descriptive that I felt like I had to focus way more than I should have had to.

There was lots of not relative information. Like, way too much of it. Like the bold and italic paragraphs talking about past loves, from the point of view of Frances and Dorothy. I was so confused when these came up. I just found it so unnecessary.

It wasn't until around page 25 that I actually got a smile and semi-enjoyed this book for the first time. It was because of the quote, "...so I stayed downstairs because there was more privacy there. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to hear all the passion and desire and sexual longing in our conversation. How was you day? Fine, great. How was yours? Oh, pretty good.'" I'm just a sucker for any kind of sexual joke, even if it sucks (no pun intended), and extreme sarcasm.

My favorite character in this book was definitely Sprout/Charles/Charlotte. She was only ten or so, maybe older or younger by a year or whatever, I honestly don't remember, but she was so spunky and sarcastic and I loved her. She was mature for her age, yet not at all. She was the bratty little sister. She was just great.

Reading the bold/italics made me confused. Like what does this have to do with anything? Pretty much every female character (so majority of the characters) would eventually all have these sort of diary entry things. So many that I time to time forgot what went with who. Eventually  it finally dawned on me that the bold and italics is every woman that Barry, the father, stole from. Talking all about their love life before Barry came into play. But then why ate Quinn's aunt and grandmother and half-sister in there?

And all of the sudden, Nice Guy Daniel cheats in Good Girl Quinn, ruining her thoughts on how a guy could be different. Quinn, even though she said multiple times that she didn't like or love Daniel, is decently upset over their break up. I guess it's because she thought she was going to prove her family right, that there are good guys out there, blah, blah, blah.

 At one point, Calletti wrote: "That wasn't helping. 'This isn't helping.' I said." Like no. Stop. Don't be so repetitive like that.

So all of the sudden Quinn and sprout and Frances Lee (I hate how they would always call her by her full name. It just got really annoying really quick.) are going on this quest to bring back everything their father has stolen from the women he's been with to each woman. So they're going to like seven different places, right The first stop is Frances Lee's house, to give Joelle a painting back. (Frances is Barry's daughter from first marriage with Joelle.) And they have to give this guy, Jake Kennedy, a ride to Portland, since they have to go there anyways. And the first time Quinn meets Jake is in the middle of the night in the bathroom, where she is half naked, and he is, well, fully naked. Can you say awkward? And then the next morning they're all eating breakfast when Jake walks in and says, "This is what I look like with clothes on." And I literally cackled it was so funny. So finally, on page 179 out of 320, this book got good and I decided that I somewhat liked it.

So of course they're done with the quest, they're about to leave the last woman's house (which also happens to be the woman that Barry cheated on Quinn's mother with and left her for) when France's car breaks down and the engine is shot. So they have to give up and call their mother, who thought they were in Disney Land the entire time, and get a ride. And then BAM her mother, the one who has been against men for ten years, has fallen in love. Which kind of ruined the entire plot, in my opinion. Like why have every woman fall in love when they've been so against it for so long?

So it ends with her dad getting married (????) and not really responding to how Quinn yelled at him and stole his things (also ????) and she starts senior year and her and Jake are still together and she's all, "Jake was seashell right." I don't even know what the heck that means. Is that a phrase that I've never heard before? Whatever.

Yeah. The ending sucked. Then again, the beginning sucked, too. So did the middle. There were really only certain parts of it that I liked. Pretty much whenever Quinn and Jake would have a moment, or they would return something to one of the women and we'd learn about their relationship. Otherwise, the book was horrible in my opinion. So, I give it  2.5 stars. Sorry not sorry.

PS: this was my first Caletti book, so I'm really disappointed. I thought it would be fabulous. But maybe I started off with the wrong one.

PPS: I really don't understand the title. I guess Barry is Prince Charming? But if so, the cover doesn't really work with it. I don't know. I just don't understand.

PPPS: I do, however, think that this would make a kick ass chick flick, since it's pretty much all against guys until the endish of the book, and there is a little romance in there. Blockbuster, make it happen.